Marriage isn’t a bed of roses, and many realize this only after a couple of years down the line. Often divorce is caused by incompatibility, irreconcilable differences that creep into a loving relationship over time. But what if you or your husband ends up marrying the other woman, and what are the 10 reasons it’s a bad idea?
Several reasons can lead a man to marry the other woman, and most often, it’s what’s called a midlife crisis. At least 10% of marriages end this way, but those new unions suffer a 70% failure rate over the long term. A considerable number of these affairs involve co-workers, and former flames that many are misled to believe are their true soul mates.
When some men hit a snag in their marriage, they immediately start looking outwards for a solution. Happiness doesn’t come from external events, and that’s why marrying the other woman is a bad idea. In this article, I explore ten reasons in support of this statement, so please read on.
Is It a Bad Idea to Leave Your Wife and End up Marrying the Other Woman?
We all know of a prominent member of the British royal family who had moved back with his former lover before his ex-wife’s tragic death. Sometimes it works, showing that the first marriage was a mistake, an arrangement of convenience. But there is old wives’ advice which says that just because he had an affair with you doesn’t mean he won’t have another with someone else.
You can’t validate any man’s action by the prince and Ms. Parker-Bowles. Camilla indeed has patience, persistence, and more in common with Charles than the late Princess Diana, but it often ends in disaster. Most men in affairs with the other woman swear that they’ll leave their wives, divorce her and pledge undying love to the new flame, but the reality is always different.
Still, there are those dumb enough to leave their loyal wife of many years, and there are even dumber women who fall for the new missus trap. The same things that you both got away cheating on her are the same that will haunt you once you’re married. Karma truly is vengeful. You can’t acquire a marriage on a foundation of deception, lies, devastation, and selfishness.
It takes two to tango, so I’ll base my tips on the perspective of both men and women. The ten reasons why you shouldn’t marry the other woman include;
1. You’ll Face Social Judgment
Leaving your wife and marrying the other woman puts you in a position of ridicule, and you’ll constantly be judged or booed by those around you. Yes, many will be prejudging, as they don’t know the whole story, but your new missus will get labeled a homewrecker.
Society will always root for the original wife and never for the mistress. Confrontations are also due between your other woman and the mother of your children, something you must be prepared for.
2. Backstory Will Haunt Your New Marriage
As the other woman, you’ll never be settled, seeing as your husband from another wife will never indeed be yours. While you can’t own a person, even via matrimony, you’ll always have a nagging feeling he can leave you as he did to her. If the left kids in the previous marriage, yours will be constantly interfered with by the ex-spouse and siblings.
3. Relatives Won’t Welcome Her into the Family Fold
Like the first reason, marrying the other woman comes with societal, friends, and family judgment. You can’t show off your new wife to relations or close acquaintances since they already know you left your missus for her. More often than not, you may be forced to live where people don’t know the two of you or continue hanging your head in shame.
4. The Law May Come After You
It’s essential to note that bigamy is illegal in most countries, punishable by a fine or jail time. That’s where you’re marrying the other woman without finalizing your divorce with your wife. There are also laws against adultery or concubinage, whichever is applicable, and your last missus will also sue for child custody and alimony.
5. You’re Dispensable
As the other woman, your marriage is standing on shaky ground. Your husband may realize the errors of his choice and run back to his first wife, deciding to try and work out their differences. The kids often compel the man to rethink, especially if you don’t want or can’t have any. Legal issues such as properties shared or child custody battles sometimes cause ex-spouses to see they’re making a mistake.
6. You Have a Strike against You
You’re marrying the other woman must have started as an affair while still married to your ex-wife. That’s a strike against your fidelity, and sometimes trust issues creep up from the shady foundation. You left a marriage, even if you had legitimate reasons, and there’s no telling if you’ll leave this one too or not. Don’t blame your new missus for feeling or acting insecure.
7. He Has Something to Fall Back On, and You Don’t
Starting a marriage the right way doesn’t guarantee a happily ever after, but stealing someone’s husband dooms your union with unhappiness. He can go back to his first wife if things don’t work out with you, but what will you do? Are you prepared to live with the stain of the other woman that tried to break up a happy one?
8. There’s Bound to Be a Destructive Scandal
You must realize that being a married man, you hold a high standing in society. That’s something you might lose if you leave your wife for another woman, staining your reputation. It’s more destructive if you’re a senior member of a church, mosque, temple, prominent business, or politics.
9. It Could Be for Power, Not Love
Unfortunately, the other woman is usually younger, snag a married man for the power trip. That often happens when the new lady is a co-worker, seeking out a senior colleague for narcissistic or sociopathic reasons. You may find out the hard way once these lacking of apathy traits become apparent, but it may be too late by then.
Like I said earlier, it’s going to get nasty. In some cases, marrying the other woman can leave you slandered around town if people fail to realize the truth. So much that you’ll find yourself running to attorneys for cease-and-desist letters or restraining orders from the cops.
Your selfish needs aren’t good enough to cause you to leave your wife and marry the other woman. The 10 reasons it’s a bad idea are not lonesome either, as every divorce and remarry scenario comes with its unique package of issues. As the new missus, you’ll feel guilt, and the previous wife’s heartbreak or financial suffering will always weigh on your conscience.
I’m Cathrine and I’m a 39-year-old mother of 3 from Utica, New York. And I’m extremely happy you’ve come to visit my hide-out on the web. Here I post about everything related to family-life and usually it will involve babies and lessons I’ve learned over the years from experts, friends, and my own mistakes. So hopefully you will find what i write fun and informational!