“I dislike my teenage daughter.” This is a statement that you’ve probably made but you feel guilty about it. It does not matter how much we love our teen children; the fact that they are filled with raging hormones and emotional instability can be too much to bear at times…
However, it’s important to remember that no matter how frustrating your teen daughter might be today, she is still your teen daughter. And that means she deserves the same amount of love, support, and protection you offered when she was younger – even if she is acting more like a frenemy than the child you birthed.
The good news is, by learning how to deal with teenage drama in intelligent ways, it’s possible to keep peace in the house while steering your daughter in a positive direction.
How to Not Dislike Your Teenage Daughter
Here are the ten most innovative ways to deal with teenage drama:
1. Don’t Take Her Behavior Personally.
Just because your daughter is acting like a flake doesn’t mean she’s trying to sabotage your relationship, so don’t take it personally when she starts rolling her eyes or saying snippy things under her breath around the house.
Remember, even though her behavior might be undesirable, it isn’t about you. Instead, it would help if you focused on re-establishing your relationship with her.
2. Put On Your Detective Hat And Get To The Root Of The Problem
Rather than assume that she is just being a selfish brat or trying to ruin your life, think of something specific in her life that could be causing her stress and frustration. She may be struggling with school, her social life, depression, or pressure from friends.
Once you figure out what is causing your daughter to act out, it will be much easier to do something about the situation.
3. Validate Her Feelings
Sometimes all our teen daughter needs is a little validation for us to remain calm and clearheaded through a frustrating situation. If your daughter is angry, don’t brush it off by saying, “Calm down” because anger only makes the situation worse; instead, try validating her feelings by saying, “You seem mad.” By acknowledging her emotions, you will help diffuse the tension and make things more peaceful in the short term.
She might get even more upset when you validate her feelings, but in the long term, she will appreciate that you took the time to understand what she’s going through.
4. Don’t Give In To Peer Pressure.
This is a hard one because it’s easy to make up for picking a fight with your daughter by giving in to her demands. However, if you give in to the drama every time she tries it on for size, your teen will never learn to negotiate and communicate in healthy ways.
So when she starts throwing a fit, stand your ground no matter how uncomfortable the conflict makes you feel. You might be surprised at just how much attention a teen girl has to dish out for you to give her what she’s after.
5. Ignore The Little Things
No one likes getting spammed with texts from a clingy ex-boyfriend or getting their mom involved in every conversation they have with a BFF. However, teens still need to learn how to navigate interpersonal relationships. Part of that process is learning how to handle yourself in difficult situations – even when those conflicts involve overprotective parents.
As hard as it might be, your teen doesn’t need you to rescue her every time she gets into a pickle.
6. Be A Role Model For Healthy Communication
Just because your teen daughter might roll her eyes and tell you to back off whenever you try to communicate with her doesn’t mean she’s ready to give up on all forms of communication.
Teens still crave a little guidance from their parents when speaking in relationships, so offer your best communication skills as an example.
7. Stick To Ground Rules You Established Long Ago
It can be challenging to remain calm and clearheaded when your teen daughter is throwing a fit, but if you made a rule long ago about not texting and driving and she breaks that rule while doing 90 on the freeway, don’t get mad – take her cell phone away. The same goes for all your other laws: Even if your teen shows no respect or appreciation for them, don’t change them just because she’s testing her boundaries.
8. Pause Before Responding
It’s not easy to remain calm and clearheaded when our teenage daughter is throwing a fit, but when we get caught up in the heat of the moment, it’s easier to say things we’ll regret later. To avoid saying something you might regret later, try pausing for a moment before responding, and remind yourself that your teen isn’t always trying to make your life harder.
9. Don’t Fall Into The Trap Of Blaming Yourself.
While you need to identify what is causing your teen daughter’s behavior, it’s more important not to blame yourself for the situation.
While teenage girls are often very different from their moms, it doesn’t mean they are purposefully trying to make things difficult.
10. Model Good Communication Skills For Your Teen
Once you understand why your daughter is behaving the way she is, it’s time to start modeling good communication skills for her. Whether that means learning how to say “no” with conviction or how to express gratitude, the more good communication techniques you model for your teen daughter, the more likely she’ll be to put them into practice when it counts.
11. Recognize That Struggles Are A Normal Part Of Life
Some teenage girls are good at staying calm and clearheaded when experiencing problems, while others tend to lash out. It is normal, so don’t think you did something wrong if your teen daughter starts screaming at the top of her lungs or slamming doors whenever she has a problem.
Teens can drive us crazy, but in the meantime, they still need our guidance and support. The more we can do to stay calm and clearheaded in the middle of teenage drama, the better we will help our teens learn healthy communication techniques that they can work into their lives as adults.
I’m Cathrine and I’m a 39-year-old mother of 3 from Utica, New York. And I’m extremely happy you’ve come to visit my hide-out on the web. Here I post about everything related to family-life and usually it will involve babies and lessons I’ve learned over the years from experts, friends, and my own mistakes. So hopefully you will find what i write fun and informational!