Why do Teenage Daughters Hate Their Mothers?

Teenage daughters are not immune to the stress of growing up. With all the changes during puberty and in their environment, many teens find themselves in a rebellious stage. Part of this rebellion is against authority figures, which can include their mothers. So really, why do teenage daughters hate their mothers?

One of the most common complaints teenage girls have is that their mothers do not understand them and often try to tell them what to do or live their lives. This can cause animosity and tension between the two, which is why so many teenage girls complain about their mothers in the first place.

With all the positive changes happening in a young girl’s life, such as learning new things and making friends for life, it often comes as a surprise when one hears of teen daughters who hate their mothers.

However, before passing judgment on teenagers, it’s essential to understand why they feel the way they do. By looking at all of the factors related to this situation, one can better understand what might cause teenage girls to hate their moms.

Possible Reasons Why Teenage Daughters Hate Their Mothers

1. Strained Conflicts In The Past

It is not uncommon for teenage daughters to hold onto old conflicts from their childhood. It often causes them to relate everything that happens now, as it once did then. For this reason alone, many teenage girls cannot let go of the past and instead carry it along with them into adulthood.

Another common cause of strained conflicts between a mother and daughter is the rules that parents set. While it is essential to have some guidelines, teenagers need to learn how to make their own decisions and develop their judgment.

2. Excessive Parental Control

While it can be necessary for a parent to take control over certain situations to prevent their child from making mistakes, it’s essential to consider the child’s age. For instance, a young teenage girl might find it annoying if their parents go so far as to tell them what to wear or whom they can or cannot hang out with.

3. A Clash Of Personalities

Sometimes, it isn’t about conflicts in the past but rather how different the teenager is compared to her mother. For example, it might be hard for a teenage girl who enjoys sports to relate to her bookish mom. Because of this, they tend to keep their distance from one another, which can cause tension when it comes time for acts like dropping off or picking up at school.

4. Mothers Are An Easy Target

Teenage daughters are often known to take out their frustration on the people closest to them, which is the mother. Since mothers usually spend the most time with their children, it is easy to take out any anger on them without fear of other repercussions.

Children are aware their mothers love them unconditionally, so they are the first choice when it comes to relieving stress.

5. Pushing Boundaries

Teenage daughters tend to push their boundaries as a means of self-discovery. For this reason, mothers are often seen as obstacles that need to be overcome. As a result, young girls often distance themselves from their mom to find their way of life.

If teenage girls feel like they are constantly being controlled, it can cause them to act out to get rid of the control.

6. Condescending Attitude  

When teenagers make the mistake of acting like they know everything, it often causes tension between them and their mothers.

This can be incredibly frustrating for a mother who has more experience in life than her daughter, making it hard for them to relate to one another.

7. A Clash Of Identity

With the girls constantly changing and developing, it can be difficult for their mothers to keep up with them and be expected to behave. For this reason alone, many mothers come off as out of touch with their children when in reality, they are simply trying to find a way to relate to their rapidly changing daughters.

However, teenage girls can sometimes take these attempts to relate the wrong way and see it as a sign that they are not good enough for their mothers.

8. Unsupportive Role Model

When mothers lack interest in keeping up with the trends of popular culture or showing interest in anything that doesn’t pertain to them, it can cause a lack of respect from the daughter. While this is not always the case, it is familiar enough for teenage girls to see their mother’s disinterest as an attempt to downplay what they care about.

What Mothers Can Do To Stop Their Teenage Daughters from Hating Them

While mothers want to reach out to their daughters, there are times when teens do not want their help. However, this doesn’t mean that all hope is lost when it comes to establishing a healthy relationship.

The following steps to reverse the hate:

Talk to Your Daughter

Sit down with your daughter and show concern over the relationship. By starting with a simple conversation, you can find out values that motivate your daughter and come to understand what makes her happy.

Don’t use an accusing tone when speaking with her. Once this is established, it is easier for mothers to offer support without unwanted criticism.

Let Her Grow Up

While it is easy for mothers to want their daughters to remain young forever, they must understand that they will eventually grow up and move on with their lives. As such, mothers need to respect their daughters’ choices and treat them as equals instead of someone who needs guidance all of the time.

Be Interested In Her World

While it may be hard for a mother to understand the world of their teenage daughter, you must make a conscious effort to show interest. Don’t downplay your child’s interests; you need to avoid acting like a know-it-all who always has an answer ready. Instead, allow your daughter to take the lead and have a conversation about what she is interested in.


It’s important to understand why teenage daughters hate their mothers in the first place to build a relationship with your teenage daughter. While you need to know why your daughters act out, it is also vital that you do not take these actions personally. By looking past their behavior and understanding the underlying causes, you can begin to build a stronger bond with their teenage girls.